![]() You need to understand each other's needs and desires. Healthy relationships do not involve pressure to do sexual things.Ī friend once used the analogy of partners going on a holiday trip to illustrate the need for communication about sex and intimacy. These decisions need to be made together – and these decisions can change if someone changes their mind. These healthy relationships involve agreements about what sexual intimacy looks and feels like, what it involves, when it happens, where it happens, and how often. Healthy relationships are able to bring this topic up and discuss it as part of strengthening the relationship. Too often, people do not have discussions about this until they have had a few drinks. Coming to a shared understanding about each other's needs – and desires – is important. In terms of physical and sexual intimacy, healthy relationships involve a lot of communicating. People are responsible for their own behaviours and also for figuring out strategies to use when they become ‘flooded’ or upset in their relationships. People in healthy relationships are also able to see how their ‘stuff’ is affecting the relationship and take positive actions to address this for themselves. These things can be worked through in relationships but no one should be made to feel responsible for helping their partner recover or move on from this. Some people come to relationships with previous negative experiences of relationships, or trauma from their childhood. If arguments and disagreements are not present, it can sometimes indicate that someone’s true feelings are not being communicated or someone is allowing their values to be diminished. Healthy relationships are not the absence of arguing or disagreements. These relationships inevitably involve ruptures or cracks when difficult events happen that affect the relationship, but healthy relationships work to repair these ruptures so that there is growth and they become stronger. Healthy relationships allow difference and conflict but these are negotiated with respect and effective problem solving strategies that do not involve criticism or put-downs, coercion, or violence. When you are in a healthy relationship, you should notice that you feel supported and loved, and cared for by the other person. They are built upon respect, effective communication, a seeking to understand rather than to criticise, trusting each other, and the sharing of power and decision making in the relationship. “Healthy relationships are based on a genuine and prolonged desire to support each other to become the best people you can be.
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